This week, without any apparent reason, I have been staying up late. Either for cell phone games or TV shows, it was already one or two days in the morning, and today when I was shaving (a new skill I acquired around the month I reached 18.) I noticed a faint pair of dark circles under my eye sockets, and just like that, I felt compelled to go to bed early from now on.
Willow: A Novel on Self-Harming, Love, Loss, and Redemption
This week's read is Julia Hoban's Willow. I first knew about this book back when I was in junior high, when I was browsing through the books in the school library, and I became intrigued by the Chinese translated cover: The Girl with no Tears.
The book holds the tale of a girl who was involved in a car accident that killed her parents. She was convinced that she was responsible for the tragedy that changed the lives of her brother and herself, and, finding no way to letup her guilt and pain, she found comfort in the metallic razor blades. By giving herself the gaping, gashing wounds inflicted upon by herself, she found salvation in the dulling pain that drew her deeper and deeper into the dark.
Self harming is a topic that is not often discussed, even rarer than LGBTQ issues. The words in the book really made you shudder, the drops of blood seem to have seeped out from between sentences. It made you wonder how much pain it would need to drive someone into doing something so harmful to yourself, being forced to be afraid that the "vice" would be revealed.
The main storyline was intertwined with a mention of Greek mythology, about Persephone and Demeter, about how the mother and the daughter was separated by the Underworld, as if the author was trying to mirror the emotions between the characters under her words. It is an enhancing read, to me especially when the main character talked about how she would no longer be anyone' child anymore, without anyone being there to listen to you recount the events of the day. I love my parents, and when I try to put myself in Willow's (protagonist) shoes, it felt quite panicking, actually.
This is a book that showed me different emotions, and the story it composed through words shows people the unnoticed voids in the heart they never knew existed.
Ending
I know there are more juicy details of the week, but I really need to sleep.
I just want my black circles to go away.
Sincerely,
Hugo
No comments:
Post a Comment