Monday, July 15, 2019

CH1. Life Goes On 6: Trojan War Revisit and Pokemon Go

Hello, Tim!

As a week's worth of time sauntered by, it wore away the brisk and harsh emotions I had regarding this website after last week's colossal mishap, and now I am here, cool-headed and determined to finish this week's post with little problems.

A Week Stuck in the Trojan War

This week I made a revisit schedule to the Trojan plains where war once raged. In Emily Hauser's book I gained clarity on the event once more when I finished reading it this week, after a year and a half leaving it, which sat with the company of other books.
In hope to have a glance on my thoughts about this book, I went back to the post I wrote in the past. Much to my dismay, the me in the past was more concerned about the condition in which this secondhand book was purchased through Amazon from a British library. I spent more time writing about my warring thoughts on whether to remove the library tags on the book or not, indecisive like a kid who still couldn't decide what he wants for Christmas.
So now I am on my own, apparently.
First, I want to praise the enchanting writing style of the author, Emily Hauser.
The fonts were of normal size, much smaller than the font in which you are reading at the moment, ensuring the length of the story that was tucked into this book of almost 400 pages. With the length of the story as well as the detailed writing of the settings of nobles and peasants alike, it was surprising not stuffing at all. With little effort, you can easily follow the flow of the plot at a fast but relaxing pace, and you still have the time to raise your head from the book and smile a knowing smile when a reference to the Greek Gods was passably apt. The "melody" of this style of writing pleases me quite much.
Now, to make up for the deficit of thoughts on the actual book in my first read, I am here to offer my opinion on the story itself.
Among all tales of Greek mythology, I am the most familiar with the Trojan War, whose wrenching tragedy was preserved up until now through Homer's Iliad.
Since Homer was said to be a Greek, it was inferred that the war he recounted would be though the eyes of a Greek. The Trojan Prince, Paris, abducted the beautiful Helen, wife of Menalaus from Sparta, hence the decade-long war broke across the horizon as a thousand ships of Greek warrior brought wreckage upon the Trojans. It would be much easier to use a Greek hero's perspective -Big Ajax, Machaon, for example- if any author wishes to do an adaption from this tale. Emily Hauser, took an adventurous detour into the palace and the village of Troy and showed the war and how if unfolded through the lenses of another side of the battle. More impressively, she utilized the two characters that was not much thought of in the original Iliad: the daughter of a priest and a villager who was later captured to be a slave girl serving Achilles. From what I can think of, this road taken by Hauser brought herself two advantages: By using a perspective not often thought of, the blank parts could be filled up with the author's imagination without making the War into another different one; by doing so, the brand new focus would shine its own lustre, attracting readers, familiar with the original story or not to get to know about this adapted tale.
The story also made it really clear, that in the Greek system of religion, we humans really are noting more than creature that walk upon earth with two legs. People send the Gods prayers that were easily neglected, and the Gods would never grant anyone's wish unless it is a passage to his/her own objectives (that, or the Gods are bored) The war was not lit up because Paris chose the Goddess of beauty as the winner of a beauty contest, but because the Gods and Goddesses are having a hard time seating themselves still on their marble-polished thrones. Achilles didn't rampage the villages out of his own pleasure, but was in fact forced to fight and kill when he had puppet strings attached to his joints the instant he was born as the son of a Goddess. Humans are not the mastermind of anything; we are all just a flesh-made soldier figurines set on chess board. We think that humans are in control of a lot of things, that Gods are attentive to our prayers and our wishes as if they, instead of the other way round, are our humble servant, eager to pull gold out of thin air. We are not. That is the biggest lesson Greek mythology taught me, I realized.
In a comfy cafe called Peppermint Night

Anyway, I now have already figured out my next book, and the theme was almost a heavy as war.
It's a book that made its own account of self-harming.

Pokemon GOing with Mother

I know that this is an old cellphone game of three years whose player's average age in a rising tendency, but the animated Pokemon TV series has always be in my childhood, and I was just tempted again and again by the notion that you can catch more of them by just walking on the streets. 
These days, though, I have someone to join me. My mother.
I always know that Mom is someone with a really open mind, even before her very resolute verbal support on my being gay, but it never occurred to me that she would be entertained by this cellphone game. She is next to me when I am on the streets these days, though. 
When she doesn't have a shift in her convenience store, she would ask me where we could go for Pokemon hunting, and I would find some place, far or just around our house, and she would mostly gladly follow. I have stopped letting myself wonder why she would play such game with me, but to start enjoy our little excursions just before I have to head for Germany (I'm still waiting for the schools to examine my files)
I know I am dreading the day I leave as much as I look forward to it.

This is the end for this week.

Sincerely,
Hugo








Monday, July 8, 2019

CH1: Life Goes On 5: Website Failure and Emotions Wiped Away

Hello, Tim!

I.....
I have been typing this blog post for three hours already. Three hours.
Then the worst thing to a blog keeper happened.
The website reloaded and cleared all my text.
I was writing about my cousin Eliza's scores and was almost getting a bit too emotional and then,
it was gone.
It is one thirty in the morning and after all the emotions I had put into words I just felt like running out on the empty streets, hit by the oppressive, sultry heat, AND SHOUT.
It is useless, I know, and I certainly don't have the time to try to remember and rewrite the whole chunk, and in order to get as much sleep as possible, I am going to write the whole thing before two.

First, I talked about the book I read for this week, Naomi Novik's Uprooted, a new take on the fairytale-like setting with a malicious wood that contaminate all living beings. The protagonist was taken to a magician's tower to learn that she was born with powers that are fit to fight against the woods. I then talked about how the story promoted female individualism and feminism by enabling the protagonist and the female secondary character to save themselves and make their own decisions that turned out to be a relatively better solution, and I think it is notable that it was unprecedented that  the plots were actually packed with actions and was enjoyable and something new to read from a fairytale-like story. I also talk about the name of the book and its relationship not only to the reference of the dark woods but also how Agnieszka, the main character, was deprived of a normal life when she was sent away as a tribute.

Moving on to the next and the emotional paragraph.
I first recounted Angela and my visit to several of my classmates who went to take their final test for college entrance, and babbled about how long they have been fighting temptation knowing that their friends have been outside all along and doing whatever they like when the could only sulk around with the pressure of the test coming. I think that they fought not only the subjects but also the temptation to chuck everything away and battled like valiant knights.
Then came the sad part.
Eliza's score of her college entrance came out yesterday, and it was not as good as expected. It might have lost her the ticket to her dream university but I wouldn't want to ask her about it no matter how well I am familiar with this sort of disappointment, knowing that all the response I am going to get from her would be "a smiling mask ghosting across her real disposition, a mask that I am too familiar with". I made it clear that I am not feeling sorry for myself at the moment, for my primary concern now is for her. I also thought that the smarter and more considerate her would know what to do or say, if our roles were reversed. I just really hope the best for her, judging  how hard she had worked no matter how smart she is.

It is 1:53 and I am about done SUMMARIZING my letter which I poured my heart and my gastric acid into.
I still feel like scream no matter how likely it is to attract the police and making me the funniest piece of news for breakfast time. I JUST DON'T WANT TO CARE.

I'll try to recover the whole text when I feel like to.

Sincerely,
Hugo

p.s. Is there a proper word to describe my anger now? I don't think the scale of the word "infuriated" would fit.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

CH1: Life Goes On 4: Reading is Stress-free and Driving is Not

Hello, Tim!
It's been a tiring week, in multiple aspects, but it has been one productive and eventful week as well, which is why I'm not exactly complaining about it. 

Looking back at this week, I have a handful of things to talk about, but just as usual, I only have enough time to write about several of them. Still, I'm writing with a view to be as inclusive as possible.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

CH1. Life Goes On 3: Post-Malady and on Being Slow

Hello, Tim!

After the Fever

It took me a whole week to go from feverish, limb-wobbling illness to a milder cough-cough and sore-throaty cold. This is one of my longest-spanning sicknesses, and now that the germs plaguing my body are more or less dissipate, I most certainly would want to extricate myself from any further maladies.
Sometimes I feel the impulse to smack the backside of the head of whoever told me that it would be all games and fairy dances after graduation, given that I am now undergoing nothing remotely of the sort.
The weather was already a nuisance to fight against. Through the course of the week, when I was still taking meds to combat the sickness, it was beyond horrible to stay in both environments, with or without air conditioning. It's too humid and hot to stay outdoors, but the aircon would then be too cold for my weakened body system. Aside from that, there was still a throng of offices to cope with, and I think it was the long distance walks that barricaded my sickness from a faster recovery I would receive had I stayed in bed more often. Minus the German courses, I also had to go to the German Institute to have my transcript verified, had some documents sent to the agency so that they can help me mail the application form for German universities, and I have also driving lessons to go to. I wouldn't say that any of them is meaningless -They are anything but- but it surely would be nice if I could have a whole day to myself and liberated from all obligations.

Tardiness

I admit, even before making this decision, I have been harboring several beliefs and so-called "life-mottos" that are objectively viewed as "childish and unrealistic".
"Slow" is a word that has stuck with me for almost as long as I was born. If I hadn't known better, I would speculate that I have ADD that was not diagnosed; I am easily distracted, and my train of thoughts are always zooming in and out, to and fro on different rails. It's a reinless horse with no one to direct. When it happens, what I was doing at the moment would also stop or at least slow down. Take my dishwashing for example. I would stand at the sink, singing along to the French pop songs that I play with my cellphone. One of the words in the lyrics would hook my attention, like a sweater whose string of yarn can get caught up by a twig on a tree you walk past. It's just one of the million ways to get me distracted, but in any case, it would end up with my hands that are gradually stopping in motion. Only after several moments would I snap out of the daze and get back to work. My mother is often irritated by my slouchy and slow work. It is one of the recurring topics that has been in our recent arguments, especially when it comes to part-time jobs.
I know that I am slow, but I suppose that it's the defense mechanisms in my gears that compels me to argue, to differ, and to contrast with some verbal oppositions every time I am described as "slow".
Call it an excuse, but I call my sloth-resembling philosophy a way of living leisurely, no matter how often it was brushed off with a flippant and a derogatory huff by my mother. I know that in this fast-moving society, there are not many spaces for people without the ability to "speed up", and my philosophy is possibly applicable only after retirement, and this is why I feel like I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and my slow nature.

This was a picture taken at Candy's place when I gave her a visit this Wednesday.
There are only less than two weeks before their college entrance test. Wish them good luck!

End

This pretty much concludes the week. Tomorrow at eight I would have to report at my little demons' house and be in charge for another day or two. I can already smell trouble and a free movie ticket on the way.

Sincerely,
Hugo




Sunday, June 16, 2019

CH1. Life Goes On 2: After-Hike Sores and Oh No I Think I'm Sick

Greetings, Tim!

I know that I have now an ample time for me to conduct on my own accord, but I am... unavailable. At least for now.
This Saturday, I went hiking on a trial on my own. The sun was beaming and the wet dirt caused by yesterday's rain was still there. It was indeed a day worthy of some outdoor activities. I hiked up the hills and lumps, one by one, with the accompany of a stopwatch.
Needless to say, with the watch ticking, I felt the urge to hike as fast as possible...
Fast forward to this morning. I woke up feeling incredibly sore. All I ever wanted to do was to lie there and just wallow in the dull throbbing that penetrated my bottom limbs. The pain was so acute that I didn't notice that my head was throbbing with pain as well. "I think I'm sick," The revelation hit only when it was noon. Right then, I felt hot and cold at the same time. My skin was radiating heat but my insides felt like they could really make good use of the heat.
This must be one of my worst sicknesses since elementary school.
Moving and not moving both hurt, and having soup did but lessen my sore throat. The air-con was on, and I think my skin hissed when the cold air hit.
Therefore, I need to rest in bed early today.
Just for the record, my cousin brought me to enroll in a driving school, whose courses start next week. When my illness retreats, I hope I'll be able to give a more detailed account.

Sincerely,
Hugo

Sunday, June 9, 2019

CH1. Life Goes On 1: Babysitting and It was Just Tiring

Hello, Tim!
A week after graduation and the days seem to move on just fine.
I still chat with my friends online and even met up with William just one day after graduation, but there is a heap of free time on our hands now, and it is up to us as to how to make use of them.
So far I'm doing... fine?
I don't know! I still spend too much time on my mindless cellphone games and it really makes me guilty, not being able to get rid of them easily. On the other hand, though, I also did various other activities like hiking and taking up a three-day babysitting challenge, and the latter made me really proud. Let's now look closer at the biggest activity of the week!


Negotiating and Governing Two Little Demons

"Anyway, I got time now, so... Why not?"
This is a very dangerous thought, as it turned out. Sophie and Aiden are not only known for their cuteness and energy; they are also known for their ignorance to requests from adults and their not-so-latent tendency to blithely and conveniently forget what they are supposed to pay mind to. It was sheer affection (borderline infatuation) for the two kids that made me overlook the caveats that implied the mental outbreaks that are prone to take place.
Okay, that was too much. I love the kids, no matter how much they made me wish that I have something to squeeze until crack.
Two of my favorite kids in the world.

Fortunately, the kids know that I won't resolve to loosen the rules I made for them no matter how many they try to wriggle out of it. That made our little "cooperation" a bit smoother than usual.
Taking care of kids should not be just hours of TV marathons and pizza and soda kind of happiness, especially when you are planning on taking care of them for any timeframe beyond a day.
You ask the kids what they want to do for the instant, and when it is a reasonable request, you respect the idea and try to fulfill it.
Sophie and Aiden wake up at different times of the day. It made my morning job easier since I could focus on one thing at a time, one kid at a time. I would spread Aiden's piece of toast with butter as I asked him to wash his face and brush his teeth. Then, I would prepare his medicaments to fight against his allergies and he would come to me and ask me for how long I would be looking after them. Dragging me to his bedroom, he would show me his jungle-green luggage he packed for himself for his family trip to Italy in the near future. "I folded all my clothes on my own and stuffed them inside the luggage," he proudly announced. Note that he is only nearly six.

The 'Ding' coming from the kitchen indicated that the toast is... toasted. With all the luggage dragging and the loud voices Aiden made, it was about time that Sophie woke up. I led Aiden back to the living room, served him his toasted toast and milk, and requested that he behave and eat up. It was a good thing that he likes toast with butter. That would keep him occupied. It would then become Sophie time. As the bigger sister by four years, it is quite a pity that she isn't more independent than Aiden. Therefore, I had to do all the things I did with Aiden all over again. Being able to manage one kid at a time only gave me the chance to give equal attention to both kids.
When both had finished their breakfast, Sophie would ask for some time on her iPad since she wanted to listen to some music. Some might call it preaching because she would ask you incessantly if you know about some random fact about some certain singers.
Several songs and awkward dancing later, and I asked them if they would like to hit the park and just have some fun. Both kids love the park and the playground, so rarely do they turn down offers like this.
I am familiar with a scenario like this:
-We go to the park
-We play tag and I have to act like a giant monster or ogre or anything of the sort
-The other kids are intrigued by our little games
- Sophie and Aiden extend their hands and ask if the others want to join
-We play tag and I have to act like a giant monster or ogre or anything of the sort
-The roles became reversed and now I am the monster which is chased after by three to six or even eight vicious kids
-One random kid suggested that we all play another game; most people agree
-Sophie switches to her constipated face and looked at me; she doesn't like the idea
-She suddenly decided that she wants me for her and Aiden alone
-Sophie doesn't know how to turn down an offer and the discussion on what to play goes on another ten minutes
-The other kids leave
-A while later, we leave
Familiar with this scenario because this is what ALWAYS happens. Normally at this point, the kids are already 80% satisfied with their playground experience. We would walk home, all three of us, hand in hand.
Then came lunchtime. On the first day, they were really reluctant to eat on the principle of being rebellious kids. I had none of that. It took me no more than fifteen minutes to finish my meal but stayed at my seat until the two of them finished theirs. By doing so, I hope to let them now it is basic manners to stay at the desk at all times during a meal. The kids were goofing around; Aiden would kick (softly) Sophie under the table, and Sophie would report it to me only after she had made her retaliation. Regardless of how many times I told her that kicking back is never the best choice, but this advice never fails to escape her. Mealtimes with the to is always the most infuriating. I took a solid hour for Aiden to finish his meal.
On the second day, though, I cooked them the easy canned tuna noodles, and it was the biggest triumph of all three days. They loved the noodles and was soon asking for more soup and more fish. This is also what I love about kids: They don't lie about their preferences.
In the afternoon came the real toil. The kids, after charged with the lunch-induced energy, would tug at my clothes (figuratively) and ask for my attention to play with them. Problem was, they have different ideas about "play". For Sophie, play means doing stretches and gymnastics, and *deep breath* body contortion. Sophie is Crazy about this kind of sports. She follows on YouTube body contortionists of roughly her age and managed to develop an incredibly flexible body. I don't know the development behind this, but it went from gymnastics to body contortion really quick. She would demand that I try to lie flat on my belly and try to touch my head with my feet. As a milder request, she would ask me to do a split, which I still can't.
It's really harder than it looks.

On the other hand, Aiden looks for more excitement. He wants to play hide and seek for the most the time. When Sophie is also in the mood, she would oblige, playing Aiden's ideal of game. When she isn't... comes my hard time. When Aiden throws a tantrum, he sulks around and doesn't talk. As the only person watching over the two, you won't want this to happen. The only plausible option was to persuade Sophie to join Aiden.
This is the first time I feel rejoice in being an eighteen-year-old; if I were one year younger, I don't think the adults would nod their heads on letting me be the only supervisor. These three days gave me a clearer picture of kids: It's utterly tiring and infuriating at times when you look after them, but when you find that you can still keep a cool voice and see two lovely angels even after they made you want to bang your head against the wall, you love kids and don't deny it.
I know that due to my own preferences, it is not going to be easy to have kids, but I certainly do hope for the day to come.

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Year Three, Almost Free (Last): Really There and Oh so Surreal

Hello, Tim.
We're finally here. Really here.
Several dozen weeks ago, I was still referring to this week as something distant, vague, something from a distant folklore anecdote or of legend. I joked that I would cry the instant I see someone cry, and now it doesn't seem playful anymore. I panted a picture of the graduation ceremony in my head, and as the vision became more definite, less murky, the more affirmative I am about my crying in the near future.
The ceremony, which would take place at school tomorrow, is going to mark an end of our high school phase of life.

One year, two years, ten years from now, we are going to stare at the pictures and rewind in our minds, the "grandes choses (big events)" we once accomplished being treated as some faraway recollection. I wonder how we would look in the eyes of the older versions of us.
There are actions I am glad I had done, and there are ones that gave me regrets, whether the 28-year-old me would mark the Me today as an imbecile or an innocent is beyond my guess, but for now, I am pretty glad to have stayed in EHP.
In some really cheesy romance novels, one would ask another whether their story was fated. With tumultuous emotions rolling in one's eyes, an equally sentimental answer is heard. I don't know if there is a thing called destiny, but if that were to be true, I believe being in EHP is a big part in the written plan in my life. I look at some of my classmates as individuals, and I would be surprised at how much they had in some way changed me radically. They are like life lessons you can't buy with money. Tomorrow is the day it all comes to a halt. Expectedly, after tomorrow, we would still do meetups with one another, but there is one thing we would lose tomorrow: the times we are going to meet each other without the need for a reason. That is something only the school can provide.

In the wake of graduation comes the summer vacation, and I have several plans. My mom and I hope that I can find a part-time job, just to gain some work experience, to have a little taste of what it would feel like to be in the workforce. I also plan to keep on with both French and German and expect to make bigger progress. I also want to have my friends at my place just to hang out because when I (if I) go to Germany, who is there to name the date of when I will be able to meet my lovely friends?

Here's a toast to all my fellow friends and everyone who is out on the verge of the rest of their lives.