CH1. Life Goes On 29: Redemption for Inactivity and a Whirlwind of Events

Hello, Tim!

It felt like only hours had passed after concluding the previous letter, but I knew that I have to be back here as soon as possible since there really are so many things to talk about. This week was so chilly that frost started appearing and there was even an occasion when specks of snowflakes started dropping for around ten minutes or so.

Winter is coming.

CH1. Life Goes On 28: Short Notice Nr.2 and a List

Hello, Tim!
Today is possibly the most hectic week ever. With the test hurled at my face and the need for packing at my heels, I will have to make the post really brief this week.
Actually, there won't be anything other than the planning sheet of topics that will be included in the coming week:

The Trip to Strasbourg (pt.2)

The Flixbus that Did not Come

The Visit to Elena

The Sunday Cheese Testing

The (Very Fatty) Food

More Cooking

Ball Juggling, in the Educational Sense

An Unusual Day in the Library

Days of Predeparture - Secret Santa

Days of Predeparture - Ladenburg

Days of Predeparture - There

I hope that I will be able to cover all of them and even add some more.

Sincerely,

Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 27: A Short Notice and a Promise

Hello, Tim!
I feel sorry to not have any time for the blog this week and for the following. I will try to write something in the next week's letter, but unfortunately, this block of studies has been way more difficult than I initially thought. I have to go back into my studies. At vastest, the week after the next, when I will be on the plane back in Taiwan - at least then- I will be able to write about everything.

Sincerely,
Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 26: Strasbourg (p1) and Juggling (Sorry for the Belatedness)

Hello, Tim!
I woke up today feeling really cold from the intruding cold air that gain entrance through my open window. My mind tried to coo me back to sleep, but then the phone started ringing. Angela called and wanted to talk about random things. I like when my mornings begin like this.

CH1. Life Goes On 25: A Postponement and Feeling Anxious about Schoolwork

Hey Tim!
It was half out of impulse, half out of the desire to finally realize my dream, I visited France for the first time in my life.
I would really like to tell you that here begins the account of my journey, but...

CH1. Life Goes On 24: After the Test Hype and First Time Bowling

Hello, Tim!
My test is for this block is finally over! I am now sitting in my usual seat at the dining table, my computer in charging mode, and I am ready to recount the past week.

Beautiful night was it.

CH1. Life Goes On 23: Different Events and Missing Home a Bit More Than Usual

Hello, Tim!
As I am typing in the kitchen, I see the foggy expansion from the big panels of windows that were installed in front of me. It is already ten in the morning, and the fog that had sure to have procured before seven in the morning has yet dispersed.
I know that I cannot be here for long. Next Friday will be our block test, and I still have some studies to do.
I have to finish this before lunch.

CH1. Life Goes On 22: Diwali and Hugo

Hello, Tim!
對於這封信能夠寫到多長我真的沒有概念，畢竟再兩個禮拜我們就要考我們第一次的定期考了，再不認真讀書我就要面臨被當掉的可能性了。
這禮拜整體上天氣都很冷，體感溫度甚至有到零下二度的時候。這種天氣最讓人開心的就是，多穿幾件衣服就能出去吹風了。

CH1. Life Goes On 21: Beautiful Boy and more Dishes

Hello, Tim!
Sometimes I wonder if using different language is diverging me from the path of being reader-friendly, but for now I think that I will persist in doing so, not just because I get to practice my multiple language skills, but that I am trying to integrate a little bit of every language and the mindsets behind them is something I do on a regular basis. I am currently in the kitchen, burrito-ed up in my IKEA blanket, listening to my one of my goddesses of music singing songs from her album, with two other people in the kitchen starting their days in their own fashions.

CH1. Life Goes On 20: Culinary Week and Mom's Birthday

Hello, Tim!

This week has not been any easier than the last two or the days back in high school. But at the same time it is something enjoyable, somewhat buoy, and ample in new things to see and experience.
There are still many things I have planned for myself today, so it would be ideal to do this faster.

Me thinking back to the past week.

CH1. Life Goes On 19: Hitting 14 Days in Germany and Getting (Half) Drunk for the First Time

Hello, Tim!

If every week is a brand new canvas to paint on, the one for this week is going to be messy. So many new names written in so many different fonts, so many footprints trekked, and so many sketches of buildings and activities would be seen. You put this paint onto the walls of the Gallery of Past Weeks, and you would be struck speechless by this painted picture; not because it is of masterpiece-material that draws gasps of astonishment, but simply because it was tucked in with so many elements you won't know where to start with.
Well, I would start from the centre of the painting cloth, where new people were encountered and more eclectic activities were done.

CH1. Life Goes On 18: Brand New in German and Hello in so Many Different Languages

Hello, Tim!

I am new in Germany! After a week of incessant grocery buying and hectic walking sessions, I have finally more or less settled down! There are so many eclectic topics I would like to put into words and tatter about my learnings and the afterthoughts, but I doubt there will be enough time to cram all events down to the details. It would be a plausible alternative to do it day by day, but I have other plans in mind. Let's just get to it.

CH1. Life Goes On 17: Departure and Reminisce

Hello, Tim!

I am currently, as predicted, on the airplane directed to Frankfurt, and I already feel like this would be a hard letter to write. Not only does it have to include the previous two weeks and all the major events in the timeframe, these weeks also happen to be some very emotional ones. If time consents, I will also be able to talk about some changes I want make to the blog that I currently am keeping.

I know that I said there would be 13 hours on plane, but I think that I may have forgotten to count in the hours I would need to spend on sleeping. Still, I don’t know if it is a good thing that the seat of a economy-classed is extremely uncomfortable. My back and shoulders are already quite stiff, and there must be more than twelve hours before we land.

CH1. Life Goes On 16: A Week Left and a Promise to Reminisce

Hello, Tim!

Today is the Tuesday of the following week, meaning that my post has been long overdue. I would very much love to tell you that it would be because of the long span of time I spent pouring my time to write out heartfelt experience of the last couple of weeks I spent in Taiwan, trying to find that one right wording that would fitly juxtapose the emotion I am feeling at the moment, the bittersweet notion that my home will be temporarily be left behind, and how come that the heart of mine has been beating fervently, not because of the excessive amount of caffeine intake, but its knowing that some really thrilling expedition to a foreign land awaits me.
But me, being the mild disappoint that I have always been, I am here to tell you that I have mostly still been occupied by practically everything: the school-leaving process, the last lunch with my friends and teachers at Fuji, two farewell meals, Eliza's depart for England, etc. I meant to do this short notice sooner rather than now, but for the timeframe it was not really allowed.
But I can give this promise: on the plane that leaves this Saturday, I'll will have thirteen hours for myself, and I will make up for the lost two weeks that have proved to be both meaningful and extenuating.

Sincerely,
Hugo

CH1: Life Goes On 15: Yet Another Short Notice and an Approved Visa

Hello Tim!
Let's throw out the good news first: My visa has just been processed and is now approved! Of course, after the notice coming from the German Institution, there are still irksome endeavors to tend to, for example the insurance required by the German government, and the bank account I will be using as the dominant method of making payments. Both of which would be, from my perspective, too much to process for my liking, but in order to go out and live a life not quite like the others, this will be a requirement. (On a related note, I am pretty sure that I made some grave mistake by sending my application of insurance to two different companies, but hopefully I'll have it sorted out by the end of the week. Hopefully.)

Needless to say that there are still baggages to pack, and for now I am having one of the biggest dilemmas in my life and that would be choosing out which books do I take with me to fly all the way to Germany.
It is Monday, and the book of the week will still have to wait. I invested all my time from last week trying to get those the dense piles of words that are supposed to tell me about the conditions of the insurance as well as the German bank account, and judging from what I did at the end of the day, I knew almost next to nothing about them.

Anyway, my plane will possibly be on the 28th of September, and before then, I still have so many things to do.

Sincerely,
Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 14: Out on the Verge and Germany

Hello, Tim!

So many things happened in the last two weeks. I have an idea of how to start the letter of the week.
Last week during the weekends, I was sitting at one of the desks in a cafe nearby that provides the occupant a power socket to charge their electronic devices, which is a very considerate gesture from the cafe, just like their free Wifi, moderate temperature, and the jazz music. It should have been a chilling day, accompanied by a cup of latte. However, it was one of the most stressful moments of these two weeks, for I was filling out (once again) the form for German university application.
But before we delve into the murky puddle that I would spend a lot of time clearing up, let's first wind it back to two weeks ago, where happier events took place.

CH1. Life Goes On 13: Late Update and Short Notice

Hello, Tim!
It's Tuesday, and I have yet uploaded the letter of the week; certainly I have been writing some long-hauled letter recounting the exhilarating adventures/mishaps of the week!
Nope. I would very much like to have the ability to do so, just because that would indicate that I had enough time I can use on my own accord.
This week was indeed memorable, but when the waves crashed down at weekend, I felt like I had all the buoyant afterglow of the happiness that was cultivated throughout weekdays had been knocked out of my lungs. I'll delve back into that later in the following week.
I didn't even finish the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows by Sunday.

Sincerely,
Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 12: Week of Young Adult Novels and Desserts

Hello, Tim!

This week I have been reading some of my letters from the past, and I was actually struck dumb by how many of those "more advanced" words I had been using, and I just had this sudden rush of guilt throwing a right hook at me.
I don't know what has happened; I suppose that it is just a lack of time that caused me to neglect thinking about the wording, but I certainly hope that my mind would be able channel to a more refined mindset so that my weekly journal would not seem so bland and/or shallow.
I am now surrounded by people in the cafe, with Angela sitting next to me. She says that she is relatively free of any meeting or obligation today but she seems to have decided that spending a day's worth of the sun wallowing in a nondescript corner of an unlit room is not suitable. She called me out of my sweet home so that we can enjoy some company in a slightly crowded cafe.

CH1. Life Goes On 11: Not Knowing How to Do a Proper Harry Potter Review and Baby-Sitting

Hello, Tim!
I am now typing to the music from Eliza's ukulele in her room. Yesterday I slept over at her place, along with my little niece Sophie. This week my German class ended, and I had more time for more exciting (or tiring) adventures.

CH1. Life Goes On 10: The Trip to Penghu (Part 2) and Oh How I Hate Open Endings

Hello, Tim!
 Today is Wednesday, and I am sitting in a random seat of Louisa, an uprising coffee brand in Taiwan. My mom cut off the unlimited Internet access at home, so I have to come out to places like this, order a cup of Oolong tea so that I can write something down in my computer.

CH1. Life Goes On 9: The Golden Apple and the Trip to Penghu

Hello Tim!
Due to the inadequate amount of time given in the previous few weeks, I mentioned nothing about EHP's planned three-day trip. There are just a lot of memories I would like to put down, so let's just move on fast.

CH1. Life Goes On 8: Driver's License and Thomas

Hello, Tim!

I have just spent five minutes recalling all the events of the previous week at the desk and Having taken so much time to do such made me realize that I haven't really been paying much attention to myself. Sure that I have done whatever I feel like doing, but I don't feel like I have been paying mind to what I FEEL at every single moment. In retrospect, it felt like a state of sleepwalking, or somnambulating; doing something, but not really registering anything. There are sure to be some highs in the week, and those are the things I want to grasp on this week.

Driving Test: Passed

"You have to do this in one go. One go only, there are no other choices or plan B for you to step back on. You are in the middle of a rapids, coursing and roaring with no large rocks behind you to return to the the side where you came from." 

That was what I kept saying to myself on the day of my examination for my driver's license. I know it sounded like I was depicting the end of the world, but I sort of have a point; this is the last driving test I will be able to take before I fly to Germany for university (even though I am still waiting for the results) and I certainly want to have my diver's license in hand after having spent all the money and time trying to parallel park and doubting if my eyes are seeing correctly, not to mention that this is also my only ticket to apply for an international license, should the need to drive arises in Germany in the future. With the revelation weighs down on me, I was as taut as a bowstring throughout the day, no matter when I was taking the written tests for driving regulations or when I was waiting for my turn for the real diving test. I was numbered the 43rd doing the diving test, meaning there was plenty time for me to implode and innerly freak out before it really was my turn. By the time it was my turn sitting in the driver's seat, I was more numbed by the constant self-inflicted fear than I am afraid of the test. I guess it was why I could still stay calm on the surface, muttering all the steps as my hands and feet moved and motioned correspondingly. 

As it turned out, I seemed to have overthought the whole deal of this examination. The judges were stern-faced and were barking orders that you are to follow, but unless you really do something out of bounds or turn the wheels to the completely wrong direction, you don't have to be asked out of the car, which indicates your failure of the test.

I passed, with a lot of luck, actually. I was really nervous when doing to the road trip section of the test, and I was minding too much of the judge's motion. As he abruptly shifted his left leg, I thought something I did went totally wrong, and I stepped on the brakes immediately, which almost brought the car to a complete halt. The judge practically bellowed at me, demanding me an explanation as to what in the world I was doing, in mid-turn at the corner of the road. I quickly loosened my grip on the brakes by retracting my right feet while muttering furtive apologies. But hey, I did it at the end of the day, didn't I?

In the driving courses I made several friends, one even from CCSH and happens to be Summer's student in another homeroom class. I know, that our chances of actually keeping in touch is bleak, but I thank the and my coach for being there with me, fighting alongside me when I was trying to rein in the metallic beast, teaching me what techniques there are to complete the test. Without them sitting next to me I the waiting line, also freaking out, I don't think I would make it to the finish line.

It was not an activity I willing those to engage in, taking up driving, but I know I enjoyed it like anyone who would love to drive even before the courses.

Notre professeur de français, il est rentré

That means "Our French Teacher Has Returned"
I mentioned that two years ago when I was in England, when I learned that my first French teacher was actually quitting his job in the institution where I used to learn French and returning to France.
On his Facebook status we can frequently see his updates on his vacation in France and his decision to go work in Shanghai. He kept mentioning about the possibility of visiting Taiwan every once in a while, but it was only two years later did he actually come back. He is the kind of teacher you would miss: playful, patient, and a little but childish. Of course, when we heard about his pending return, we the classmates were all excited. Melody was the first to take initiative, organizing meetups, looking for restaurants for dinner. Melody and Candy were anxious. They left the French courses much earlier than I did, and even though I quitted about a year ago, I have never lost contact with the language. Either through reading children' books written in French or listening and singing to French pop songs, there isn't really a day I haven't passed without seeing at least a phrase or two in French. I did forget a  great deal as to the many words learned in French classes, but I can still manage to strike up a conversation or two.
Wednesday, dinner night.
Thomas was sitting at the table across the warmly lit, spacious room as we pushed through the bulky door. His hair was shaven and looked significantly... heavier. But his smile showed that nothing was changed, and the French teacher we had come to be acquainted with.
Before I continue on, I want to give a bit more information on the dynamics of the class. Our class was, in fact, very openminded and free. When Candy, Melody, and I were still sixteen and seventeen, the other adult classmates were very open about everything, about love, about gossip, and about sexual orientation. It was the factor that made sure that our classes are filled with raucous laughter, and one that made it incredibly easy to come out as gay. The adults don't treat us the highschoolers as someone inferior and gave us a great time in general during classes.
Back to the dinner, our teacher shattered the initial silence by asking the folks at the table a question that threw us completely off kilter, "Do you guys have boyfriends yet?" The familiar lively feeling returned with the odd sense of humor of this odd teacher.

With basic French skills at my disposal, it would only make sense that I made the most of it to try to converse in French.
Thomas also happens to fit in the romantic stereotype of a French person. When Melody asked him about the tattoos that were visible from his sleeves' opening, a stylized symbol that looks like a capitalized "M". He stopped and thought for a moment. "It's short for Melody." Which led to another collective uproar. He then said that it was from a Japanese anime that he has grown infatuated with.
The light dinner was finished, and we proceeded to have some of our photos taken. Being a photo-awkward person, the others kept shouting advices as to what pose to use, until one of my lovable classmates -Jayce, I reckon- shouted out "Look at each other in the eye!" I barked out a laugh of surprise, but Thomas next to me, apparently had better ideas than to brush it off. He turned to me, a smile already tugging at his lips, and stared straight into my eyes.
I didn't know it would be so hard to keep eye contact. I see different shades of brown forming two concentric circles, focusing in the centers of the two circles were a pair of undilated dark pupils. It was mesmerizing, but it also felt like getting pulled into a dark current in the river. I heard Melody cry out with laughter, saying that the tip of my ears were bright red, that I blushed furiously, but I willed myself to hold the gaze a little longer, either for proving that this is a challenge I could surmount or for getting stuck by the pair of eyes I cannot really say. Anyway, the picture was taken, and it was really a novel experience for me. At the same time, it proved that our French teacher has "flirting" as a skill up his sleeves.

I was flustered.

Oh and Candy got a new haircut.

End and I was Late

Today is Monday of the following week. I started the letter yesterday late at night, but when my phone told me that it was two in the morning already, Mom happened to wake up momentarily from her sleep and was ticked off that I was not already in bed. With no other choices, I had to go to bed. I could have just stopped at the diver's license, but I felt like I would love to read about my reaction when I once stared into the depths of my very charming French teacher two or three years from today.

Sincerely,
Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 7: Willow and my Black Circles

Hello Tim!

This week, without any apparent reason, I have been staying up late. Either for cell phone games or TV shows, it was already one or two days in the morning, and today when I was shaving (a new skill I acquired around the month I reached 18.) I noticed a faint pair of dark circles under my eye sockets, and just like that, I felt compelled to go to bed early from now on.

Willow: A Novel on Self-Harming, Love, Loss, and Redemption

This week's read is Julia Hoban's Willow. I first knew about this book back when I was in junior high, when I was browsing through the books in the school library, and I became intrigued by the Chinese translated cover: The Girl with no Tears.

The book holds the tale of a girl who was involved in a car accident that killed her parents. She was convinced that she was responsible for the tragedy that changed the lives of her brother and herself, and, finding no way to letup her guilt and pain, she found comfort in the metallic razor blades. By giving herself the gaping, gashing wounds inflicted upon by herself, she found salvation in the dulling pain that drew her deeper and deeper into the dark.

Self harming is a topic that is not often discussed, even rarer than LGBTQ issues. The words in the book really made you shudder, the drops of blood seem to have seeped out from between sentences. It made you wonder how much pain it would need to drive someone into doing something so harmful to yourself, being forced to be afraid that the "vice" would be revealed. 

The main storyline was intertwined with a mention of Greek mythology, about Persephone and Demeter, about how the mother and the daughter was separated by the Underworld, as if the author was trying to mirror the emotions between the characters under her words. It is an enhancing read, to me especially when the main character talked about how she would no longer be anyone' child anymore, without anyone being there to listen to you recount the events of the day. I love my parents, and when I try to put myself in Willow's (protagonist) shoes, it felt quite panicking, actually.

This is a book that showed me different emotions, and the story it composed through words shows people the unnoticed voids in the heart they never knew existed.

Ending

I know there are more juicy details of the week, but I really need to sleep. 

I just want my black circles to go away.

Sincerely,

Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 6: Trojan War Revisit and Pokemon Go

Hello, Tim!

As a week's worth of time sauntered by, it wore away the brisk and harsh emotions I had regarding this website after last week's colossal mishap, and now I am here, cool-headed and determined to finish this week's post with little problems.

A Week Stuck in the Trojan War

This week I made a revisit schedule to the Trojan plains where war once raged. In Emily Hauser's book I gained clarity on the event once more when I finished reading it this week, after a year and a half leaving it, which sat with the company of other books.

In hope to have a glance on my thoughts about this book, I went back to the post I wrote in the past. Much to my dismay, the me in the past was more concerned about the condition in which this secondhand book was purchased through Amazon from a British library. I spent more time writing about my warring thoughts on whether to remove the library tags on the book or not, indecisive like a kid who still couldn't decide what he wants for Christmas.

So now I am on my own, apparently.

First, I want to praise the enchanting writing style of the author, Emily Hauser.

The fonts were of normal size, much smaller than the font in which you are reading at the moment, ensuring the length of the story that was tucked into this book of almost 400 pages. With the length of the story as well as the detailed writing of the settings of nobles and peasants alike, it was surprising not stuffing at all. With little effort, you can easily follow the flow of the plot at a fast but relaxing pace, and you still have the time to raise your head from the book and smile a knowing smile when a reference to the Greek Gods was passably apt. The "melody" of this style of writing pleases me quite much.

Now, to make up for the deficit of thoughts on the actual book in my first read, I am here to offer my opinion on the story itself.

Among all tales of Greek mythology, I am the most familiar with the Trojan War, whose wrenching tragedy was preserved up until now through Homer's Iliad.

Since Homer was said to be a Greek, it was inferred that the war he recounted would be though the eyes of a Greek. The Trojan Prince, Paris, abducted the beautiful Helen, wife of Menalaus from Sparta, hence the decade-long war broke across the horizon as a thousand ships of Greek warrior brought wreckage upon the Trojans. It would be much easier to use a Greek hero's perspective -Big Ajax, Machaon, for example- if any author wishes to do an adaption from this tale. Emily Hauser, took an adventurous detour into the palace and the village of Troy and showed the war and how if unfolded through the lenses of another side of the battle. More impressively, she utilized the two characters that was not much thought of in the original Iliad: the daughter of a priest and a villager who was later captured to be a slave girl serving Achilles. From what I can think of, this road taken by Hauser brought herself two advantages: By using a perspective not often thought of, the blank parts could be filled up with the author's imagination without making the War into another different one; by doing so, the brand new focus would shine its own lustre, attracting readers, familiar with the original story or not to get to know about this adapted tale.

The story also made it really clear, that in the Greek system of religion, we humans really are noting more than creature that walk upon earth with two legs. People send the Gods prayers that were easily neglected, and the Gods would never grant anyone's wish unless it is a passage to his/her own objectives (that, or the Gods are bored) The war was not lit up because Paris chose the Goddess of beauty as the winner of a beauty contest, but because the Gods and Goddesses are having a hard time seating themselves still on their marble-polished thrones. Achilles didn't rampage the villages out of his own pleasure, but was in fact forced to fight and kill when he had puppet strings attached to his joints the instant he was born as the son of a Goddess. Humans are not the mastermind of anything; we are all just a flesh-made soldier figurines set on chess board. We think that humans are in control of a lot of things, that Gods are attentive to our prayers and our wishes as if they, instead of the other way round, are our humble servant, eager to pull gold out of thin air. We are not. That is the biggest lesson Greek mythology taught me, I realized.

In a comfy cafe called Peppermint Night

Anyway, I now have already figured out my next book, and the theme was almost a heavy as war.

It's a book that made its own account of self-harming.

Pokemon GOing with Mother

I know that this is an old cellphone game of three years whose player's average age in a rising tendency, but the animated Pokemon TV series has always be in my childhood, and I was just tempted again and again by the notion that you can catch more of them by just walking on the streets. 

These days, though, I have someone to join me. My mother.

I always know that Mom is someone with a really open mind, even before her very resolute verbal support on my being gay, but it never occurred to me that she would be entertained by this cellphone game. She is next to me when I am on the streets these days, though. 

When she doesn't have a shift in her convenience store, she would ask me where we could go for Pokemon hunting, and I would find some place, far or just around our house, and she would mostly gladly follow. I have stopped letting myself wonder why she would play such game with me, but to start enjoy our little excursions just before I have to head for Germany (I'm still waiting for the schools to examine my files)

I know I am dreading the day I leave as much as I look forward to it.

This is the end for this week.

Sincerely,

Hugo

CH1: Life Goes On 5: Website Failure and Emotions Wiped Away

Hello, Tim!

I.....
I have been typing this blog post for three hours already. Three hours.
Then the worst thing to a blog keeper happened.
The website reloaded and cleared all my text.
I was writing about my cousin Eliza's scores and was almost getting a bit too emotional and then,
it was gone.
It is one thirty in the morning and after all the emotions I had put into words I just felt like running out on the empty streets, hit by the oppressive, sultry heat, AND SHOUT.
It is useless, I know, and I certainly don't have the time to try to remember and rewrite the whole chunk, and in order to get as much sleep as possible, I am going to write the whole thing before two.

First, I talked about the book I read for this week, Naomi Novik's Uprooted, a new take on the fairytale-like setting with a malicious wood that contaminate all living beings. The protagonist was taken to a magician's tower to learn that she was born with powers that are fit to fight against the woods. I then talked about how the story promoted female individualism and feminism by enabling the protagonist and the female secondary character to save themselves and make their own decisions that turned out to be a relatively better solution, and I think it is notable that it was unprecedented that  the plots were actually packed with actions and was enjoyable and something new to read from a fairytale-like story. I also talk about the name of the book and its relationship not only to the reference of the dark woods but also how Agnieszka, the main character, was deprived of a normal life when she was sent away as a tribute.

Moving on to the next and the emotional paragraph.
I first recounted Angela and my visit to several of my classmates who went to take their final test for college entrance, and babbled about how long they have been fighting temptation knowing that their friends have been outside all along and doing whatever they like when the could only sulk around with the pressure of the test coming. I think that they fought not only the subjects but also the temptation to chuck everything away and battled like valiant knights.
Then came the sad part.
Eliza's score of her college entrance came out yesterday, and it was not as good as expected. It might have lost her the ticket to her dream university but I wouldn't want to ask her about it no matter how well I am familiar with this sort of disappointment, knowing that all the response I am going to get from her would be "a smiling mask ghosting across her real disposition, a mask that I am too familiar with". I made it clear that I am not feeling sorry for myself at the moment, for my primary concern now is for her. I also thought that the smarter and more considerate her would know what to do or say, if our roles were reversed. I just really hope the best for her, judging  how hard she had worked no matter how smart she is.

It is 1:53 and I am about done SUMMARIZING my letter which I poured my heart and my gastric acid into.
I still feel like scream no matter how likely it is to attract the police and making me the funniest piece of news for breakfast time. I JUST DON'T WANT TO CARE.

I'll try to recover the whole text when I feel like to.

Sincerely,
Hugo

p.s. Is there a proper word to describe my anger now? I don't think the scale of the word "infuriated" would fit.

CH1: Life Goes On 4: Reading is Stress-free and Driving is Not

Hello, Tim!

It's been a tiring week, in multiple aspects, but it has been one productive and eventful week as well, which is why I'm not exactly complaining about it. 

Looking back at this week, I have a handful of things to talk about, but just as usual, I only have enough time to write about several of them. Still, I'm writing with a view to be as inclusive as possible.

CH1. Life Goes On 3: Post-Malady and on Being Slow

Hello, Tim!

After the Fever

It took me a whole week to go from feverish, limb-wobbling illness to a milder cough-cough and sore-throaty cold. This is one of my longest-spanning sicknesses, and now that the germs plaguing my body are more or less dissipate, I most certainly would want to extricate myself from any further maladies.
Sometimes I feel the impulse to smack the backside of the head of whoever told me that it would be all games and fairy dances after graduation, given that I am now undergoing nothing remotely of the sort.
The weather was already a nuisance to fight against. Through the course of the week, when I was still taking meds to combat the sickness, it was beyond horrible to stay in both environments, with or without air conditioning. It's too humid and hot to stay outdoors, but the aircon would then be too cold for my weakened body system. Aside from that, there was still a throng of offices to cope with, and I think it was the long distance walks that barricaded my sickness from a faster recovery I would receive had I stayed in bed more often. Minus the German courses, I also had to go to the German Institute to have my transcript verified, had some documents sent to the agency so that they can help me mail the application form for German universities, and I have also driving lessons to go to. I wouldn't say that any of them is meaningless -They are anything but- but it surely would be nice if I could have a whole day to myself and liberated from all obligations.

Tardiness

I admit, even before making this decision, I have been harboring several beliefs and so-called "life-mottos" that are objectively viewed as "childish and unrealistic".

"Slow" is a word that has stuck with me for almost as long as I was born. If I hadn't known better, I would speculate that I have ADD that was not diagnosed; I am easily distracted, and my train of thoughts are always zooming in and out, to and fro on different rails. It's a reinless horse with no one to direct. When it happens, what I was doing at the moment would also stop or at least slow down. Take my dishwashing for example. I would stand at the sink, singing along to the French pop songs that I play with my cellphone. One of the words in the lyrics would hook my attention, like a sweater whose string of yarn can get caught up by a twig on a tree you walk past. It's just one of the million ways to get me distracted, but in any case, it would end up with my hands that are gradually stopping in motion. Only after several moments would I snap out of the daze and get back to work. My mother is often irritated by my slouchy and slow work. It is one of the recurring topics that has been in our recent arguments, especially when it comes to part-time jobs.
I know that I am slow, but I suppose that it's the defense mechanisms in my gears that compels me to argue, to differ, and to contrast with some verbal oppositions every time I am described as "slow".
Call it an excuse, but I call my sloth-resembling philosophy a way of living leisurely, no matter how often it was brushed off with a flippant and a derogatory huff by my mother. I know that in this fast-moving society, there are not many spaces for people without the ability to "speed up", and my philosophy is possibly applicable only after retirement, and this is why I feel like I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and my slow nature.

This was a picture taken at Candy's place when I gave her a visit this Wednesday.
There are only less than two weeks before their college entrance test. Wish them good luck!

End

This pretty much concludes the week. Tomorrow at eight I would have to report at my little demons' house and be in charge for another day or two. I can already smell trouble and a free movie ticket on the way.

Sincerely,

Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 2: After-Hike Sores and Oh No I Think I'm Sick

Greetings, Tim!

I know that I have now an ample time for me to conduct on my own accord, but I am... unavailable. At least for now.
This Saturday, I went hiking on a trial on my own. The sun was beaming and the wet dirt caused by yesterday's rain was still there. It was indeed a day worthy of some outdoor activities. I hiked up the hills and lumps, one by one, with the accompany of a stopwatch.
Needless to say, with the watch ticking, I felt the urge to hike as fast as possible...
Fast forward to this morning. I woke up feeling incredibly sore. All I ever wanted to do was to lie there and just wallow in the dull throbbing that penetrated my bottom limbs. The pain was so acute that I didn't notice that my head was throbbing with pain as well. "I think I'm sick," The revelation hit only when it was noon. Right then, I felt hot and cold at the same time. My skin was radiating heat but my insides felt like they could really make good use of the heat.
This must be one of my worst sicknesses since elementary school.
Moving and not moving both hurt, and having soup did but lessen my sore throat. The air-con was on, and I think my skin hissed when the cold air hit.
Therefore, I need to rest in bed early today.
Just for the record, my cousin brought me to enroll in a driving school, whose courses start next week. When my illness retreats, I hope I'll be able to give a more detailed account.

Sincerely,
Hugo

CH1. Life Goes On 1: Babysitting and It was Just Tiring

Hello, Tim!
A week after graduation and the days seem to move on just fine.
I still chat with my friends online and even met up with William just one day after graduation, but there is a heap of free time on our hands now, and it is up to us as to how to make use of them.
So far I'm doing... fine?
I don't know! I still spend too much time on my mindless cellphone games and it really makes me guilty, not being able to get rid of them easily. On the other hand, though, I also did various other activities like hiking and taking up a three-day babysitting challenge, and the latter made me really proud. Let's now look closer at the biggest activity of the week!

Negotiating and Governing Two Little Demons

"Anyway, I got time now, so... Why not?"
This is a very dangerous thought, as it turned out. Sophie and Aiden are not only known for their cuteness and energy; they are also known for their ignorance to requests from adults and their not-so-latent tendency to blithely and conveniently forget what they are supposed to pay mind to. It was sheer affection (borderline infatuation) for the two kids that made me overlook the caveats that implied the mental outbreaks that are prone to take place.
Okay, that was too much. I love the kids, no matter how much they made me wish that I have something to squeeze until crack.

Two of my favorite kids in the world.

Fortunately, the kids know that I won't resolve to loosen the rules I made for them no matter how many they try to wriggle out of it. That made our little "cooperation" a bit smoother than usual.
Taking care of kids should not be just hours of TV marathons and pizza and soda kind of happiness, especially when you are planning on taking care of them for any timeframe beyond a day.
You ask the kids what they want to do for the instant, and when it is a reasonable request, you respect the idea and try to fulfill it.
Sophie and Aiden wake up at different times of the day. It made my morning job easier since I could focus on one thing at a time, one kid at a time. I would spread Aiden's piece of toast with butter as I asked him to wash his face and brush his teeth. Then, I would prepare his medicaments to fight against his allergies and he would come to me and ask me for how long I would be looking after them. Dragging me to his bedroom, he would show me his jungle-green luggage he packed for himself for his family trip to Italy in the near future. "I folded all my clothes on my own and stuffed them inside the luggage," he proudly announced. Note that he is only nearly six.

The 'Ding' coming from the kitchen indicated that the toast is... toasted. With all the luggage dragging and the loud voices Aiden made, it was about time that Sophie woke up. I led Aiden back to the living room, served him his toasted toast and milk, and requested that he behave and eat up. It was a good thing that he likes toast with butter. That would keep him occupied. It would then become Sophie time. As the bigger sister by four years, it is quite a pity that she isn't more independent than Aiden. Therefore, I had to do all the things I did with Aiden all over again. Being able to manage one kid at a time only gave me the chance to give equal attention to both kids.
When both had finished their breakfast, Sophie would ask for some time on her iPad since she wanted to listen to some music. Some might call it preaching because she would ask you incessantly if you know about some random fact about some certain singers.
Several songs and awkward dancing later, and I asked them if they would like to hit the park and just have some fun. Both kids love the park and the playground, so rarely do they turn down offers like this.
I am familiar with a scenario like this:
-We go to the park
-We play tag and I have to act like a giant monster or ogre or anything of the sort
-The other kids are intrigued by our little games
- Sophie and Aiden extend their hands and ask if the others want to join
-We play tag and I have to act like a giant monster or ogre or anything of the sort
-The roles became reversed and now I am the monster which is chased after by three to six or even eight vicious kids
-One random kid suggested that we all play another game; most people agree
-Sophie switches to her constipated face and looked at me; she doesn't like the idea
-She suddenly decided that she wants me for her and Aiden alone
-Sophie doesn't know how to turn down an offer and the discussion on what to play goes on another ten minutes
-The other kids leave
-A while later, we leave
Familiar with this scenario because this is what ALWAYS happens. Normally at this point, the kids are already 80% satisfied with their playground experience. We would walk home, all three of us, hand in hand.
Then came lunchtime. On the first day, they were really reluctant to eat on the principle of being rebellious kids. I had none of that. It took me no more than fifteen minutes to finish my meal but stayed at my seat until the two of them finished theirs. By doing so, I hope to let them now it is basic manners to stay at the desk at all times during a meal. The kids were goofing around; Aiden would kick (softly) Sophie under the table, and Sophie would report it to me only after she had made her retaliation. Regardless of how many times I told her that kicking back is never the best choice, but this advice never fails to escape her. Mealtimes with the to is always the most infuriating. I took a solid hour for Aiden to finish his meal.
On the second day, though, I cooked them the easy canned tuna noodles, and it was the biggest triumph of all three days. They loved the noodles and was soon asking for more soup and more fish. This is also what I love about kids: They don't lie about their preferences.
In the afternoon came the real toil. The kids, after charged with the lunch-induced energy, would tug at my clothes (figuratively) and ask for my attention to play with them. Problem was, they have different ideas about "play". For Sophie, play means doing stretches and gymnastics, and *deep breath* body contortion. Sophie is Crazy about this kind of sports. She follows on YouTube body contortionists of roughly her age and managed to develop an incredibly flexible body. I don't know the development behind this, but it went from gymnastics to body contortion really quick. She would demand that I try to lie flat on my belly and try to touch my head with my feet. As a milder request, she would ask me to do a split, which I still can't.

It's really harder than it looks.

On the other hand, Aiden looks for more excitement. He wants to play hide and seek for the most the time. When Sophie is also in the mood, she would oblige, playing Aiden's ideal of game. When she isn't... comes my hard time. When Aiden throws a tantrum, he sulks around and doesn't talk. As the only person watching over the two, you won't want this to happen. The only plausible option was to persuade Sophie to join Aiden.
This is the first time I feel rejoice in being an eighteen-year-old; if I were one year younger, I don't think the adults would nod their heads on letting me be the only supervisor. These three days gave me a clearer picture of kids: It's utterly tiring and infuriating at times when you look after them, but when you find that you can still keep a cool voice and see two lovely angels even after they made you want to bang your head against the wall, you love kids and don't deny it.
I know that due to my own preferences, it is not going to be easy to have kids, but I certainly do hope for the day to come.

Year Three, Almost Free (Last): Really There and Oh so Surreal

Hello, Tim.
We're finally here. Really here.
Several dozen weeks ago, I was still referring to this week as something distant, vague, something from a distant folklore anecdote or of legend. I joked that I would cry the instant I see someone cry, and now it doesn't seem playful anymore. I panted a picture of the graduation ceremony in my head, and as the vision became more definite, less murky, the more affirmative I am about my crying in the near future.
The ceremony, which would take place at school tomorrow, is going to mark an end of our high school phase of life.

One year, two years, ten years from now, we are going to stare at the pictures and rewind in our minds, the "grandes choses (big events)" we once accomplished being treated as some faraway recollection. I wonder how we would look in the eyes of the older versions of us.
There are actions I am glad I had done, and there are ones that gave me regrets, whether the 28-year-old me would mark the Me today as an imbecile or an innocent is beyond my guess, but for now, I am pretty glad to have stayed in EHP.
In some really cheesy romance novels, one would ask another whether their story was fated. With tumultuous emotions rolling in one's eyes, an equally sentimental answer is heard. I don't know if there is a thing called destiny, but if that were to be true, I believe being in EHP is a big part in the written plan in my life. I look at some of my classmates as individuals, and I would be surprised at how much they had in some way changed me radically. They are like life lessons you can't buy with money. Tomorrow is the day it all comes to a halt. Expectedly, after tomorrow, we would still do meetups with one another, but there is one thing we would lose tomorrow: the times we are going to meet each other without the need for a reason. That is something only the school can provide.

In the wake of graduation comes the summer vacation, and I have several plans. My mom and I hope that I can find a part-time job, just to gain some work experience, to have a little taste of what it would feel like to be in the workforce. I also plan to keep on with both French and German and expect to make bigger progress. I also want to have my friends at my place just to hang out because when I (if I) go to Germany, who is there to name the date of when I will be able to meet my lovely friends?

Here's a toast to all my fellow friends and everyone who is out on the verge of the rest of their lives.

Year Three, Almost Free 36: Half a Foot out of Here and First Sip

Hello, Tim!

I know it is the Monday of the following week, but I still have to make an account of the past week.

Music for Souvenirs

These two weeks I have been asking my friends to give me a playlist of ten to fifteen songs for the sake of some sort of sentimental souvenir. This idea was long cultivated, even before the GSAT. I know that there is a high chance that I will feel homesick and totally lonely when/if I study in Germany. As a person who needs music in all sorts of occasions, I felt the need to ask this of my classmates. It is an easy task for them since all they have to give me is a list of the songs they listen to, which make me think that it is quite resembling a graduation parting gift: It has sentimental values, where emotions are packed into different genres of songs, and with the notion that the songs were picked from a playlist called "XXX's top ten songs of all time" gives me a chance to acquaint myself with them a bit more. I like this idea.

First Sip of Alcohol

Have I ever mentioned that I practically vowed not to drink alcohol long ago? Well, here's the deal: In whichever case, I want to avoid drinking alcoholic beverages. I myself find the reason behind this decision obscured, one possible reason is that I simply dislike the taste of wine, and this was proved last Friday. At a family reunion, the elders and the adults wanted to toast us since we are to become graduates in a week's time. My cousin, who has always insisted that I get used to drinking alcohol because I will be heading for Germany in around September or October, gave me a look that clearly stated that I was not to be extracted from this glass of red wine. I could even picture my own expression when the revelation hit me that I wouldn't get away this time. Just one sip of the supposedly superb red wine, according to my uncle-in-law, and I felt the slightly burning tingling down my throat and the bitterness that lingered. This confirmed my preconception that wine does not taste good. At all.

End

I know I'm sending my update in quite late, and given that I still have the graduation dinner as well as an invitation to a bar which I turned down, (it was indeed a good decision made.) I surmise that I could have spent more time on this. But I need to head for my German class!
Bis bald (See you in a while.)

Sincerely,
Hugo

The Road to Equality

Almost two years after the Constitutional Court ruling in favor of gay couples and the establishment of relevant laws, the Legislation Yuan in Taiwan launched the second reading (for debates, article examination, and wording alternations) for three different drafts on gay marriage.
I'm not exactly sure about how deep I should be diving into this topic since the LGBTQ+ Acts in Taiwan could be traced back all the way to the 1980s, but needless to say, I am absolutely enthralled by the development, firstly because of the fact that this is something directly related to my rights, but also because this is a big step toward equality in general, one big step that made Taiwan the first country in Asia to legalize marriage between the same sex.
The law, now entitled The Enforcement Act of Judicial Yuan Interpretation No. 748, will come into effect in three days from now (5/24). If not for the referendum conducted several months ago, we could have hoped for gay people using the Civil Code as heterosexual couples do, but the results we have is ideal in reality.

Now, where do we start? On May 24th, 2017, the highest Court in the Judicial Yuan ruled in favor of gay people after Qi Jia-Wei, the person dubbed the first gay in Taiwan out of the closet, successfully filed a Constitutional interpretation when his attempts of getting registered as a couple with his lover proved unfruitful. The Court stated that the majority of the judges are forward with the idea that it is the government's and the legislators' obligation to make sure that two people, regardless of their religion, race, gender, can get married. They gave a two-year buffer time for the Legislative Yuan to include this into the Taiwanese law system, after which if nothing was done, the gay couples would automatically be included in the Civil Law and would then be given all the rights a traditional couple would.
It was no hard to speculate how many debates, how many protests, and how many rallies have taken place in the given two years. The people against gay marriage consist mostly of those with more conservative thoughts. Numerous churches in Taiwan and the elderly communities alike, with several prominent politicians and entrepreneurs as well, loudly berated the court ruling, while the pro-gay marriage people, mostly being made up of gay people and their supportive parents or those who just believe that love has no boundaries are speaking at equal volumes and trying to spread the importance of such law. Fast forward to the referendum voting. On November 24th, a referendum was cast. Among other controversial issues like whether to reactivate nuclear power plants and which name do we want to use for our country at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, there were five questions regarding how the laws about homosexual couples should be laid down. Two of them were endorsed by those for gay marriage, and the other three not. The questions are basically about whether gay couples should also refer to the intimate and exclusive bond as marriage or civil union. It was later proved to have two radically different outcomes, as one could grant the right for gay couples to get married using the regulations and conditions on the Civil Law, while the other needs citing from a special law.
In the referendum, however, we lost. With a staggering seven million votes against gay marriage in the Civil Code, we were met with some setback. But a lot of us didn't give up just yet. The Executive Yuan dished out a special law draft "The Enforcement Act of Judicial Yuan Interpretation No. 748" which covers a lot of the rights that would maximize the rights bestowed upon the gay couples, including the basic rights like bequeathing from the other half and protection of the exclusiveness of the relationship as well as the right to adopt the other half's children. Two legislators with Christian backgrounds respectively countered with their own versions of proposals which the right to adoption of the other half's child was removed. One even proposed the "anti-marriage forgery" rule, in which a family member, a social worker, or someone from the police can issue a nullification of the relationship between two gay people if they believe they aren't having an intimate or exclusive relationship. Even though this drafted regulation was suggested to be taken out of discussion due to a severe violation of one's privacy very soon, I still beat myself up for misjudging the intention behind this law for the first instant. When I realized that this would mean all the people mentioned above will make you and your partner under surveillance, I was first infuriated, but then the stark repulsion for the law morphed into disappointment and shame for myself, not being able to tell the intention behind a simple rule, for that is someone I have long dreaded of becoming: one that needs the opinions or reminders of the others to form his own. I hate not being able to figure out things on my own, and the fear is still there.
But let's get back to the story.
May the 17th became a monumental day in Taiwanese equality because the Legislative Yuan held the voting that day. With the majority of the legislators in agreement with the Executive Yuan version, the law for gay marriage is decided upon and protected. It was a day of pouring rain. Yet people from both sides held out their umbrellas and their resolution at the doorstep of the Legislative Yuan, awaiting the results of the voting; The results were promising.

Today gay couples can get married. Though there is still the debate on whether setting a special law is something fair for the people who wish not to be treated specially. Still, there are people who, with or without religious beliefs, against the concept of two people of the same sex sharing a household. The idea is still alien to them, and this is what we people, gay or not, have to work on. We should spread our friendliness, telling the world that there is nothing wrong and nothing of notoriety to pose as a threat to society. There are a lot of discussions between both sides that have been overlooked in the past, and the rift between people regarding this issue is the result. It a giant first step for gay rights, but are still quite some steps in between.

Year Three, Almost Free 35: Self Concern and Results

Hello, Tim!
Today is only Thursday, yet I figured since I was (finally) given the grace to enjoy momentary freedom. Why so all of a sudden?
Well, that's because our classes are over! The finals took place just the day before yesterday, and even though we still have to come to school until the third of June, which will be when our graduation takes place, we are given carte blanche as to what to do in classes.
Since I still have a pile of application work stacked up in front of me, I figured that spending some time writing something in which I used to pour all my thoughts wouldn't hurt, given that we practically have the whole day for ourselves.
With all being said, I will do a follow-up record about the new routine that I absolutely love whenever I feel like to.
But first, I want to talk about something not related to work.

Language Hysteria

For the past two months, I have been using all my time to boost my German abilities, which, to my delight, had brought me considerable progress to the command of this language. I can now write to my German teacher to organize a meet up for a more concentrated training on my verbal skills in preparation for the upcoming German proficiency test in full German. More and more German vocabularies swarm in my head, and it pleased me to be able to call myself an "elementary" user of this complex language.
But... Sometimes I feel a sense of panic. With all the new information flowing in like tap water, I often feel like I am having a hard time grasping my wording in English. I feel a helpless frustration when I found myself unable to recall simple words like feast or gratitude, and it troubles me when I end up using only the simplest of words when there are obviously more refined wording choice in the lexical library in my head. I have been making more spelling confusions, mostly with the a's and the e's. It just feels horrible. It makes me think that I won't be able to simultaneously have progressed in new languages while maintaining the same level of English, and I just couldn't deny these accusations I have made to fire at myself because I know that they are all valid ammunitions. I can only take comfort in the fact that not all is gone in the winds just yet. Through writing like this and trying to reclaim my reading schedule will set me back on track, to be the person with many words at his disposal, all of which are found beautiful by him. I hope to be able to put no brakes in advancing my German skills while still having English as my priority, like the sharpest knife in the drawer, always shining and ready for action.

Class Observation

Now starts the observation of my classmates. There are five of my classmates who are to take the test in July: Melody, Sherry, Candy, William, and Jay. I just finished correcting William's English composition he wrote for practice and gave him some feedback. Cathy and Angela are sitting at the back of the classroom, making good use of some supposedly costly alcohol pen by drawing cute and cartoonized characters of 320 classmates. Amy and Selena are at the same desk, where they are checking out online malls. The results for their college application came out today, and they both are admitted to the same college. Congratulations to them.
William claims that his brain is all mushy now, and is now off to sleep. Sabrina, sitting at her desk, is fixating on her book about British tourist attractions.
Some classmates are absent for various reasons; some doesn't see what they could do at school after being admitted to colleges so chose to stay at home, while some decided it would bring them a more serene and efficient study environment outside of school. This might be the right choice. This morning, Allison brought with her a sewing pack, synthetic cotton, and differently-patterned cloths. Cathy and Angela wanted to learn from her how to make little owl figurines out of the materials mentioned above. It started out as a workshop of three, but then Jack and Selena are interested. In no time they all have their own cute owllettes. It was still relatively quiet for classmates who wish to study. At some point, though, someone decided to take it up a notch by transforming several desks into a mini golf court. They taped cards and stationary onto the table to act as obstacles. With their fingers and the little owls, they somehow found supreme excitement in it, and it distracted some classmate quite a lot, even though the game didn't last too long. I was tempted, but I really hope that I can finish my personal statement by the end of this week so I would have more time for myself in the future.

A Win in Equality in Taiwan and Its Future Confrontations

From this week on, the 17th of May will be a meaningful day in Taiwan for many people altogether. It is the day when the first law for gay marriage is finalized. Now, there are still challenges, obstacles we have yet been forced to deal with, but they are for sure to come. I want to write a separate article about this monumental event, but it will have to wait.

End

It's early Monday now. I'll have my German proficiency test in several hours. Better start oacking up the items I would need.

Year Three, Almost Free 34: Ranch and Horses

Hello, Tim!
My IELTS score came out very promptly, thanks to the computer format I took. The answer sheets were entered into a computer by us and were easily sent to England for grading. That's why we were able to get results so soon.
So how much did I score?
8!
It was only half a point higher than the score I got from last time's test, but I was really pleased already since it is the third highest score that can ever be achieved in the test, and an 8 sounds a lot better than 7.5.

This Friday, Summer took almost the whole class to a nearby ranch resort where we could have a taste of horse riding.
Upon mentioning horse-riding, a dialogue from a book I read before instantly came to my mind.
"You know anything about horses?"
"Not much, Sir. I know how to get on one, and I know how to fall off one."
Luckily, none of us, including Summer, fell from the back of any horse.
We all rode two horses. Or ponies, as defined from their height according to our instructor's lecture.
One was named Brodie and the other one Bella. The horsebacks were around the height of our upper waist, but with a little help, we all could climb up there with next to no effort.
The range for horse riding was confined to a small area, but it was what we could manage. William was blending in well, scratching the ranch dogs' bellies when not tending to the horses and talking to the horses when brushing their mane. We all could see that he loved being with animals. Candy, on the other hand, was a stark contrast. She has had this mixture of animosity and fear for all sort of animals that don't talk human. She hates butterflies. She is afraid of dogs and, for most of the time, holds the disapproving face when any sentence remotely indicates her being in contact with another creature (me included). She as well, was asked to ride on the horse's back. She seemed reluctant but was brave enough to try. She teared up at the slightest movement of Brodie the white pony, as she claimed that it was too high for her liking. It must have been a great leap for her since she practically sat on a horse! It took some courage, but she took the chance to do something she could have shirked for life. She herself said that she knew that Brodie was tame and gentle, but the horseback was too high. Cathy then joked that she should go ride Rody the rubber bouncing miniature horse instead.

He was the only one who had prior experience to horseback riding

You have no idea how much courage it might take

Feed.

We had fun, all thanks to the ranch. In less than a month, our graduation will take place. Bets are open for who is to cry first.

Sincerely,

Hugo

Year Three, Almost Free 33: Bullet Points and More Ranting

Hello, Tim!
This has been another week.
Yes.
A week has a new definition, and it is anything buy easy-paced and slow-going.
I thought I had saved up enough time for more letter writing, but things just kept coming up and I couldn't even handle myself without feeling dizzy.
Therefore, I had to shamefully use the bullet point format to recount this week.

- I almost didn't make it into the German proficiency test. I sent an e-mail with the proper form along with the scanned files of my passport, and I was denied entrance at first because they said I sent too many unnecessary files. But then I thought that this test was the last one before my application for Germany has to be mailed, so I kept calling the desk and finally, they relented since at least I got one of the forms correct. What a relief!

- I just spent the whole day creating my CV for Germany application. It was not supposed to be my job, considering that we had paid the agency, which told us that this would be included in their services. They did make a version of the CV, but it was not entirely.... pleasing to the eye. The arrangement was in fact, quite chaotic, and it was a mess, and a catastrophe for me as well because I had to finish this CV in a day. It was exhausting.

- Yesterday, I went to my second ever IELTS test. I took it because we hope that if I get a score higher than 7.5, presumably 8 or 8.5, I would grant me a higher chance to differentiate myself with the other German University applicants.

These are the three major events of the week, and I hope that next week I will be able to sit idly at a desk with a cup of coffee in my hand and type casually on my laptop.
Scratch that, the worse is yet to come, I am afraid.

Sincerely,
Hugo

Year Three, Almost Free 32: A Small Emotional Outburst and Does That Count as an Oxymoron?

Hello, Tim!

I hoped that this wasn't another of those clichéd weeks. Alas, things haven't been going the way I wish they would for quite a long time already.

This week held some of my more sentimental and emotional days, and I believe it was the pressure coming from pushing the application schedule that made me like this. Just this evening, I finished the TWELFTH modification of my motivation letter. In normal cases, I would be willing to do a dozen times of refinement for my article. However, this time, I felt like I had lost connection with my motivation letter. If you have both the first and the latest version of my letter, you wouldn't think it came from the same person's head. I understand that since I was applying for a program that is entitled "International Business", there are a lot of things which I don't know about. Therefore, my cousin pulled practically all the strings she could find: the agency we paid to help us with the more complicated parts of the application, her friends living in NY who are apparently professors in business studies, a friend of hers who is still studying in Austria, etc. to help me check whatever I need to improve.
I was grateful. Seriously! But then when I see comments from different people start to contradict one another and was combined with my cousin's own opinion, I became confused. I re-read the passage I have now, and I cannot say that any paragraph belonged to me. It wasn't like the people were just helping me type out the paragraphs; I was the one who did the writing. But what I did was wipe away the paragraphs that were born from my own ideas and inserted ideas of other people, all of which I had no previous knowledge of. I babbled about the articles I had never read and the lessons I had never taken. There is absolutely no pride be taken when all I wrote was but some information crammed into a word processor.
I don't know how much naivety I still have in my thoughts but I thought in this kind of application forms you are supposed to show who you really are and what your personality is to convince the professor that you are the person to go to the program? What is it worth if all I did was try lying through my teeth? Every time I alter my passage according to what the grownups "recommended" me to add, something to include in my article, they told me how it made it look a lot better, but I didn't feel like they were complimenting my work, regardless of what they really thought; in my ears they sounded like praises to their own idea. The student in my head kept reassuring me that it was okay because this is what all students do and that the people who helped me all had some sort of relevant backgrounds which would turn out to be incredibly helpful. I tried to listen but it doesn't disperse the uneasiness in me. I guess, in the end, I am just too headstrong to admit that I dream of completing this application and come out successful so that I could hold my up high and stolz sein (which is "be proud" in German, a word I just learned last Wednesday). Anyway, I was a bit emotional, I understand, but it DOES feel good just to tear across the keyboard and type something HUGO-like.

As for the sentimental part, it was more like a premature nostalgia. I look at my bookshelf and thought of how I wouldn't be able to bring all my books with me, and it just sort of dawned on me that at the end of everything, no matter your wealth, your gender, your nationality, your sexuality (by the way, gay people will be lawfully recognized no matter what in less than a month after which would reach two full years of the highest Constitution ruling. Yay! All I need now is a boyfriend ha ha), you won't be able to take anything with you when you leave, either abroad or just depart from the consciousness of the world. It is just sad. I look at my mother and thought about all the things I'd miss about her and the roof under which we have lived for just a little shorter than my eighteen years of life.
I am grateful, at least, that we have something called the internet, which promised some video chat when I feel so lonely.
This is just what everyone experience before they go abroad to study, right?

Sincerely,
Hugo

Year Three, Almost Free 31: Ten-Minute Challenge and What a Short Letter

Hello, Tim!
This still managed to be an incredible whirlwind of a week. Lots of emotions around different events.
But since I really haven't got much time reserved for this week's letter (mostly because I really am not granted a choice) I figured this could be a great 10-minute challenge, namely I get to write as much as I can in ten minutes.
Without further ado, time starts... now!
Okay. SO there were tons of things I want to elaborate on, but firstly, I want to talk about the funeral and the incineration of my second uncle.
He was a fisherman for over three score years, but last week we got the news of how his boat tumbled due to some horrible weather, and when he was found, his heart had stopped beating already. My uncle was from my mother's side, which is a family of ten or so siblings. Of course, my family was devastated, and that was when I thought bitterly that this is just going to be sadder and sadder. I know that my mother is a person with a spirit made of iron, but at times like this, she still needed comfort with her family. In this age where people are having fewer and fewer children, people are just going to get lonelier.
I don't know a lot about my uncle, but the story of how he was caught in an accident and was imprisoned in China for more than a year was told a dozen times at the family dining table. He was said to be a tough person shouldering the burden of nourishing a family of five by earning solely from fishing.
He was loved by his siblings, and that is the universal truth.

Then comes the story of my last interview for colleges in Taiwan. The interview was split into three parts, and the three professors from either part kept showing great interest in regards to this blog, which made me largely at ease since I just have to tell roughly the same story for three times, occasionally adding more information. So yeah, I have a good feeling that I'll be accepted.

Ten minutes have just passed.
Man, I really hoped that I still have the time to mention my personal statement for Germany which nearly drove me crazy, but I think this is all for today. Tomorrow will not be any different. German class, more personal statement refining, and I also have to ask Summer about my recommendation letter. Also, I have a computer sciences report due Wednesday.
If you excuse me for a minute, I would like to leave the desk and just yell into a pillow.

Yours sincerely,
Hugo

Year Three, Almost Free 30: Two Interviews and Finally Relaxed (not Just Yet)

Hello, Tim!
This week, I had two college interviews to attend, and it was certainly a nerve-wracking experience. Let's see what happened!

Friday- Fujen Univerity- French Language and Literature

On a weekday, we students who have interviews to go to are granted special leave for the whole day, regardless of when exactly the interview is going to take place. Both Angela and I have interviews at four in the afternoon, she taking finance & law and me taking French lit. Our schools were the same one, so we decided to meet up in the morning for more last minute preparations. At this point, I believe all there was lacking was the comfort we need to talk about ourselves and our own opinions. At the brunch where Angela designated as our rendezvous, we threw each other questions relating to topics like death penalty, abortion, and the sort. When students go to interviews, some would resolve to memorize a script, but that was just too polished to be something out of your own heart, which would make it less convincing to the judges, who are, in most cases, professors doing interviewing for many years. An interview is not a speech contest. What the teachers are hoping to see the gears turning in one's head, how it sparks and how one can show the difference he/she possesses in a short amount of time. Therefore, the ability to think on one's feet is way more important than that to recite a script from memory.
Angela's father drove us to the college, loosening up the time constraint I would have if I were to commute on my own.
Prior to the interview, I was led into the waiting room, where the director of the French department, was giving a speech about all the reasons why we should learn French. Not why we should be learning French at Fujen University, but why we SHOULD learn French. It talk was in French, with a college student standing by the lecturer doing oral translations for the audience. I always welcome all sorts of listening practice for both French and German, and to my own satisfaction, I could understand around 70% of the speech without the help of the translator despite knowing that the professor was probably intentionally using all the easy words, for the benefit of us and the translator alike, for she was still just a student.
It was my turn for the interview. I was first led into another room where I was to pick randomly a topic to talk about for roughly two minutes.
It was pure good luck that I got this topic: "Talk about why the French are paying so much mind to philosophical studies while here in Taiwan we only care about the basic subjects like Mandarin Chinese, math, English, and should this sort of philosophical studies be introduced to Taiwan?"
In fact, a few days ago at school, Angela, Selena, Sabrina, and I gathered together to form a discussion circle of all different recent topics, which was also in preparation for the coming interview. Selena had to go to an interview for philosophy, so we had accidentally brushed through the topic before, making it a lot easier to think of some powerful opinions. I talked about how France used to have so many renowned philosophers in the past, and how the fact had directly influenced the French culture and their way of teaching, I then said that if we the Taiwanese kept our tight grasps on only the studies that we have used for several decades, we wouldn't have anything new to think about, hence there will be no place for improvements and will just be marching the same grounds over and over. The three judges were apparently resolved to keep a stern face for the whole interview, and I hoped that they are somewhat satisfied with my answer.
Then the judge in the middle asked me about the autograph I got from a French author I mentioned in my personal statement, which to my ecstasy, was something I was familiar with. I then pulled out from my memory all the things I could remember about this autographed book: its name and the name of the author, about how the book won some award in 2010, and what the book was about. I made the impression that I am someone who values written works very much and that it was something that really happened to me.

Saturday- Chenchi University- Education

For this interview, I was less lucky to have anyone to accompany me. I gave a call to my uncle to ask if he would be able to give me a ride to the university since I had to be there before eight in the morning.
The interview was incredibly long. One would have to knock the doors of three professors for a total of twenty minutes of inspection. One professor asked me for my plans after I graduated, and I was a bit caught off guard. I stammered a little, talking about how I might be looking for programs abroad when I graduate after saying I wanted to be a teacher, and the professor launched a long talk -longer than mine- about how it was not necessary if I wanted to become a teacher because all I would need is a teacher's license. I kind of blew my interview at this point, but the third professor gave me hope. He was a friendly, welcoming guy, bringing up about his brother we also used to go to the same senior high school (ZZSH) like I do, and then he asked me about my past experiences in teaching as well as my vision as a teacher. The time was almost up, and I was asked to ask him what question do I still have for him.
The first thing that came to my mind was "What was the biggest setback one teacher can face?"
His face did lit up right then, telling me that it was a big but good question. "Being a teacher is a lot like being a parent, where you can face a lot of negative emotions, and for the rest of the part, we can teach you when you enter the school."
I was not sure if the last part of the talk was intentional or not, but it did give me hope.
Still, getting admitted to a university in Taiwan is not my destination. I still have Germany to deal with, which, honestly, was a bigger wall of bricks than the interviews in Taiwan could ever be.

Year Three, Almost Free 29: Letter of Motivation and My First Set of Professional Attire

Hello, Tim!
Today is Saturday, and I was just working on my (possible) personal statement that is for Germany application until I was totally stuck. To change the mood, I figured that I might as well start the blog writing right now.

Why I Got Stuck

My family and I have been talking over this "studying abroad in Germany" deal and has now decided on taking international business as my college major. Here is a short version of why I don't think I'll be taking other courses into consideration. First of all, international business in Germany focuses quite much on languages as well, which is something I value dearly. Besides, they also offer chances to study abroad to places like England and France as well as a semester's length of internship, a lot of which are even mandatory. This might sound a bit too realistic to my liking, but it sounds a lot more practical and offers a more useful set of skills.
Besides, many literature studies there are taught in German while courses for business studies using English are more common. No matter how fast I can pick up German, there is no way I would be able to attend lectures taught in German within less than five years.
After tapping aimlessly on my keyboard, mulling over what to include in my statement and what not until my thoughts are all tangled up.
It was exceptionally difficult even when my cousin had given a considerable amount of advice for business application mostly because I don't have much prior experience to anything relating business, and even though what my cousin had suggested me to put in my statement, but some of them doesn't sound like me, and I think in a statement like this, it is better if I don't pretend to be someone that I am not, hence making me even more confused about what to write. I think I need to put it aside for a while, let it sit, let it ferment, and see what might eventually come.

I Got a Suit

Just this even, my cousin took me to the department store to search for a suit that is fit for all of my upcoming interviews. I thought I was mentally prepared for this day but it turned out I still had some doubts lurking. I don't even know what those doubts were about! There was just a compelling voice in my head that would appreciate if I just refuse to try on the suit. Here the try-out picture:

SO I am not going to comment on how I look because from what I know about myself it is going to be either borderline narcissistic or utterly self-deprecating, and I want neither of those. The shirt fit my body shape well, and it is promoted for its permeability. The suit jacket (is that how you call them?) was a bit heavy but had a very pleasant texture.
So yeah, this is my very first set of suit, and there are going to be various occasions in which I would need its help.

End

All this thinking is giving my brain a horrible travail, and I don't think I have the brain to keep on doing anything but writing down any of my words...
I believe this can be called laziness?
I'll go read a book or something. Let's see if more words will come out when I feed my brain some.

Sincerely,
Hugo